THE WORKMAN'S FRIEND -- Flann O'Brien (1911-1966)

   When things go wrong and will not come right,
   Though you do the best you can,
   When life looks black as the hour of night -
   A pint of plain is your only man.

   When money's tight and hard to get
   And your horse has also ran,
   When all you have is a heap of debt -
   A pint of plain is your only man.

   When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
   And your face is pale and wan,
   When doctors say you need a change,
   A pint of plain is your only man.

   When food is scarce and your larder bare
   And no rashers grease your pan,
   When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
   A pint of plain is your only man.

   In time of trouble and lousey strife,
   You have still got a darlint plan
   You still can turn to a brighter life -
   A pint of plain is your only man.